The Headache: Starpy vs Hupp
by Nyx6
Summary: Ok, so this time the headache is all Dobey's caused by our two favourite officers ably aided by Eddie! A MS from 'Bounty Hunter.' Couldn't resist!


Right, so I couldn't resist this. Always love when the boys are so obviously teasing Dobey and he doesn't know how to take them! Was watching Bounty Hunter last night and this just came out – I could make a series of these Headache stories! Anyway, hope you enjoy!

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"Ok you two. Now what's wrong?"

To say Captain Dobey was irritated was something of a chronic misdiagnosis. He was more than that. He was tired, angry, stressed _and_ irritated, which did not make for a pleasant combination.

"All you two genius' need to do is make sure Eddie Hoyle gives a statement, and you can't even do that!"

Starsky and Hutch, standing sheepishly before their Captain's desk trying to hide wolfish grins, exchanged conspiratorial glances. Starsky cleared his throat, his tone mischievous.

"Well, you see Cap, uniform ran into…" he paused, searching for words to do the situation justice, "…a few problems…"

Dobey's following frown was dark enough to conjure storm clouds.

"Problems?" he snapped, looking from one man to the other, "What problems?"

Hutch shrugged, his face the picture of innocence.

"Problems Captain." He repeated, helpfully.

Dobey glared at them remorselessly, raising his hand to point a ballpoint pen in their general direction.

"If you two don't tell me what's going on I'll -,"

His tirade was interrupted abruptly as Hutch held up a placating hand. Dobey eyed him icily. Without a word the blonde detective crossed the office and opened the door, beckoning someone in. The Captain blinked as Starsky ushered the newcomer into a chair.

For a moment there was silence.

Finally Dobey cleared his throat.

"Mr. Hoyle," he greeted shortly with an informal nod of his head. The nervous-looking handyman returned the greeting, fumbling at the same time with the brim of his flat cap. Dobey noticed the thick wad of bandage wrapped around his head – a parting gift from Rile. He turned to his detectives expectantly, waiting with growing impatience for an answer.

Starsky provided it.

"Well you see Cap," he started brightly, "We thought that since no one else can get a straight answer, _you_ might like to take Eddie's statement."

He turned to Hutch with a wide smile, which his partner returned, taking over the reigns of the conversation.

"Yeah, we thought you could show us your…expertise in the matter."

The both grinned at him angelically.

Dobey eyed them in suspicion. They were up to something all right. His attention slid back to Eddie, still blinking at him nervously. Dobey sighed, glared at his Cheshire-cat detectives and reluctantly took a blank sheet of paper. He cleared his throat.

"In your own time Eddie."

The handyman nodded eagerly. He was trembling all over, though whether from shock, nerves or sheer force of habit, Dobey couldn't tell.

"W-well, Mr Rile drove me to this warehouse, I can't remember why now," Eddie frowned, moving to absently scratch at his injured head. Hutch caught the arm and lowered it again. "P-paint!" Eddie said suddenly, "There was lots of paint."

"A paint warehouse?" Dobey interjected dryly. Eddie thought for a second, before nodding seriously,

"I guess so."

Dobey rolled his eyes.

"S-so, I went with Mr Rile into this warehouse and then I think I must've passed out because it all goes a bit black," Behind him, Starsky and Hutch exchanged amused glances, "But next thing I know, I'm lying on the floor, there's this big commotion and Mr Rile's being arrested by Starpy and Hupp."

Dobey, who had been diligently scribbling Eddie's responses, blinked incredulously,

"By who?"

The handyman faltered uncertainly,

"S-Starpy and Hupp."

Dobey lent forward until his arms rested before him on the desk, his brows furrowed.

"Who the Hell are Starpy and Hupp?"

As Eddie regarded him curiously, Hutch held up a hand in the background and cleared his throat to get his Captain's attention. As Dobey looked up at him, the blonde detective pointed at himself and then Starsky in turn,

"That's us."

"You?" Dobey growled in surprise, "Starpy and Hupp?"

The two detectives exchanged brief glances and Starsky turned back to the Captain, shrugging as if it were the most simple thing in the world.

"Yeah."

As Dobey opened his mouth to fire off a snappy comment at his infuriating detecting duo, Hutch gave Eddie a pat on the shoulder and flashed him a reassuring smile,

"Go on Eddie."

The handyman was, by now, staring in amazement at the Captain, wondering why the man didn't know the name of his own cops. He swallowed nervously and ran a tongue across his dry lips, now aware that he was gawping.

"W-well, I looked down over the railings see, and there was Starpy handcuffing Mr Rile."

"Starpy?" repeated Dobey slowly, looking up at his dark-haired officer for confirmation. Starsky shook his head gravely, pointing instead to Hutch.

Dobey felt his blood pressure rise.

"You're Starpy?" he asked in disbelief. The blonde nodded seriously, indicating his similarly severe partner,

"He's Hupp."

Now they were definitely trying it on with him. Dobey slammed down his pen angrily.

"Now listen you two -,"

Starsky ignored him coolly, nodding with a crooked smile at the perplexed handyman,

"Carry on."

Irritated beyond belief, Dobey snapped.

"Starp-Starsky!" He groaned. Now he was at it. This conversation would be the death of him.

In the background, Hutch pointed innocently at his partner.

"He's Hupp Captain."

Dobey glowered at him. He was beginning to understand just what 'problems' the rest of the station had been having trying to extract the statement from the well-meaning, but infuriating handyman, not helped any by the two detectives beaming broadly at him like a pair of angels. All that was missing were the halos.

Taking a deep breath, Dobey tried again, for the final time, making a mental note as he did.

Starpy was Hutch. Hupp was Starsky.

He cleared his throat, and managed an unconvincing smile.

"Please continue Mr Hoyle."

Eddie nodded, eager to make amends for the tension he seemed to have created in the office, although the two detectives seemed to be enjoying themselves tremendously.

"Ok, well, that was it really, only there was paint everywhere, the floor, Mr Rile, on Hupp…even on Starchy…"

Dobey's jaw set tight. Even before he'd asked the question he knew it was a mistake. He prepared himself mentally with a deep breath.

"And who, may I ask, is Starchy?"

Eddie blinked at him. In the background, Hutch raised a tentative hand, both his and Starsky's eyes sparkling with glee, loving every minute. As Captain Dobey set his glare from stun to kill, he heaved a long-suffering sigh and massaged his brow with one weary hand.

It was going to be a long afternoon.


End file.
